straight and tall
A poem I wrote when I wasn't feeling great, to say the least.
Thankfully not in that place anymore most days.
But this poem is for those who still are in that place, fighting to get out.
Sending you strength, hope and love, wherever you are.
look at me
look at me
im so depressed.
that I can't even speak properly
please notice me
I'm so upset
I'm so upset
I stare blankly straight ahead
whenever you try to break through
to anything repressed
I scream and kick and flail away
you ask if I'm alright
instead of just being honest
and saying I'm not fine
I want you to feel worried
I even like you scared.
because somehow that's better
than me going from here to there.
the fact that I sleep walk
most of every single day
the fact I talk so effortlessly
from in a dreamless haze
where it's alright that I'm not fine
where I won't be okay
at any point now or later
because I'm too afraid
to feel the storm for just a moment
to hear the screaming gale
I'd clearly rather torture them all
than live a moment in hell
knowing damn well if I can bear
the world just as it is
for long enough, without a doubt
a heaven shall descend.
I keep forgetting all of this.
I wish my mind could hold
the shape that I want it to be
rather than always fold.
wake up
I beg of you
wake up
as often as you can.
because the dream you've crafted for yourself
is burning all to sand.
wake up
I beg of you wake up
again, again and again
live whether in heaven or hell
just straight and tall please stand.