equals 4
2 + 2 = 4 is as apparent to most people as "it is better to experience joy than suffering".
and how much I struggle with the latter when the former is crystal clear to me warrants the concern that W expressed.
how much I struggle with identifying with each thought and emotion that crosses my mind is a close second that I am sure W saw.
the result being the hurt and angry child writing here.
My gut reaction to want to find a permanent solution to a very clear and pressing problem - that I am chief among sinners and often can't see a way out - it's a human reaction, but ultimately an unhelpful one and impossible to achieve.
W, as with many other things, was right to make it clear there is no magic pill to stop suffering.
Implying pursuing such an end is a dead end.
It only leads to more suffering.
That being said, another - perhaps the most - significant concern is my unwillingness to share, especially what has helped me, with other people.
It can be seen as a natural and human reaction to protect and safeguard my inner sun from an often cold dark world.
But, same as pursuing a magic pill to end suffering, hiding and keeping my inner sun to myself is a very dead end.
It is surprisingly quick and easy to paint as accurate (to me and no one else I'm sure) a picture of my condition/predicament/soul as I can.
It often isn't even difficult to pick a path to walk that I am sure is as valid and good as any.
For years, walking it truly through thick and thin has been where I stumble and fall.
Believing I walk it alone, and especially believing my inner sun has gone out, have been mountains I still climb.
If any of this is to be helpful to anyone, finding some takeaways is a good start.
Reaching out for help is a courageous and strong thing to do, and never a sign of weakness.
People want to help, and giving them an opportunity to do so is a gift.
However, no one can live your life for you, or be the best version of you there can be.
Just being your beautiful self is already enough.
It also often isn't easy loving yourself and others.
It is easy to get distracted by a materialistic, comfort-seeking world, to lose focus of what matters to you, and to lose faith in your inner sun.
When I notice I fall astray, as I do most moments of every day - accepting what happened, coming back to what I believe and value, and beginning again right now - these steps have helped me significantly on my journey.
I wish you the absolute best on your journey.
Feel free to reach out to me at zljvvjlz@gmail.com
I would be delighted to hear from you.